What Inspires Me?
When you think of what inspires you, what comes to mind? Is it your family or your friends? For me it is my family and my friends, but it is also the people that tore me down. Now that may sound weird but it is the truth. I am inspired to become the person that they told me I would never become. For too long, I only focused on people telling me that I can’t do it. Now, I have decided that my life is about me and what I want to achieve, without anyone telling me that I can’t do it.
When I was in high school, my senior year more specifically, I was the Commanding Officer (CO) of my high schools NJROTC program. Being the top dog wasn’t all that it turned out to be, I was a leader but eventually I began to realize just how difficult it was being in charge of cadets when there was a constant nagging in my ear. That nagging turned out to be someone that was in a position of trust and was the intructor of the course.
It was hard to ever do anything because nine times out of ten, he was putting me down and making me feel terrible about myself. He said some pretty harsh things to me and it took a lot of strength to not blow up on him. I had about three months of school left and once I was done I would never have to see him again. Those last three months, I started getting really bad heart aches, like physical pain and I stopped showing up to class because I couldn’t breathe when I was around that area.
The pain I was feeling turned out to be anxiety attacks, they got to the point that I would have to go to the nurses office to get my blood pressure checked and then have to sit in there for a while because it was way too high. There were days that my dad would have to come pick me up because anything would spike up an anxiety attack and it just wasn’t safe for me anymore.
Anxiety is no joke, I would have rather broke a bone than have to deal with these attacks, but the source of my anxiety attacks wasn’t going to go unnoticed and when I told my parents that my anxiety skipped up whenever I was in ROTC, they knew exactly what was going on. Those harsh word that the ROTC instructor was telling me was verbal abuse, and it might have been a “military” prep class, but it was not acceptable and I had to tell someone. The day that I turned him in, was one of the best feelings ever. It felt as if a million pounds was lifted off of my chest and I could finally breathe again.
My inspiration is to prove him wrong, being told that you would never achieve anything in life and that you were worthless isn’t cool, in fact, his abuse pushed me to work harder. I’ve had my ups and downs along the way and even with a slight road block, I am still on my way to becoming what I want to be. I am inspired to become the role model that I needed throughout high school. Someone with the strength and courage to help others, someone who will be there to listen and build others up.
My life may have taken a turn down a different path but I am well on my way to becoming what I want to be and that’s my inspiration. I wont give up on my dreams and that is what’s important. Go out there and be the best you can be and ignore anyone who doubts you. There’s only one person in the world who can tell you not to do something and that is you. Don’t be the one to ruin your dreams because you never know what might come out of it. Live life to the fullest and never give up on yourself.
You can do anything you set your mind too, no one controls you or your decisions. Wake up every morning and tell yourself that you can do this. Don’t be discouraged and like Nike says, “Just do it”.