Coming up with goals for 2019 was difficult, I honestly wasn’t sure if I even wanted to have any goals this year. I know I always try new things and it’s worth trying but I couldn’t decide if I should have any set goals this year. I figured I should probably at least have the things I wanted to try written down and just make them into goals. I had to rewrite this multiple times because I wasn’t ever sure if I wanted some goals to even be goals so I went with going with a few goals and seeing where this goes.
My goals are a bit off from last years, I wanted to make this more personal but at the same time still have fun with it. I have came a long way from last year and despite the never ending roller coaster rides, I am looking forward to this year and all that it has to offer.
1.Learn how to play guitar- I used to play a couple of instruments like the clarinet and the tenor saxophone but I stopped playing when I went into high school. I have always wanted to learn how to play guitar but never really gave it a try until the end of last year. I went and got my brothers guitar fixed and started by watching videos on YouTube to learn beginner notes. I have been trying to practice everyday but I had to take a interim class over winter break.
2. Get back into shape- I know I had this as a goal before but I didn’t really take it serious, I always think there is something that causes me to fall of the gym wagon but really it’s all on me. It’s my body and I have to be the one to really want this, no one else can want it for me. I want to lose the remainder of my chemo weight gain weight and then work on building up muscle mass and endurance. I know what I need to do, I just have to do it.
3. Putting myself first- This is a big one for me, I have always put other’s needs before mine and honestly it started getting ridiculous. I would put myself in situation that I didn’t want to be in and honestly, it caused a lot of triggers in my depression and PTSD. This year alone, I have already walked away from toxic situations and I am working on just doing things for myself. I have to learn on myself and in order to that, I have to be able to say no to others when I don’t want to do it.
4. Start Saving Money- For some apparent reason, when I get any sort of money whether it be a scholarship or money from work, I somehow don’t put any into savings and end up blowing it on something stupid. Now, don’t get me wrong, I have saved quite a bit of money but I still buy a lot of stuff. So my goal is to be smart with my money, not buy stuff I don’t need but to put some into savings for the future. I don’t plan on spending money that isn’t necessary but to pay my bills and put the rest into savings for the future.
5. Start my video blog- This is my last goal for the year but I am pretty excited for it. I plan on starting my own YouTube Channel and making video blogs on my lifestyle. Hopefully, I will have my first one up soon. But as a sneak peak- at the end of January I am doing my first motivational presentation and my plan is to have it up a couple of days after. But I will let you know.
This year is going to be about me and working on loving myself. For so long, I have always tried to please others and never really gave what I needed a thought. But I went through a lot and despite all of my support from family and friends, I felt lost. I felt like I was living a life not meant for me and living a life that others’ wanted for me. I have a lot of changes I need to make in my life in order to find the love that I need but I am looking forward to this year. Right now, I am declaring 2019 my year and for once I am doing this for me and only me.